We’ve been doing the bike thing for close to a year now and it’s been a pretty nice ride. We’ve lost a few pounds, got in decent shape, reduced our foot print on the environment, and saved some cash. We’ve ridden through rain and sleet and snow and survived it all.
In the meantime though, we kind of feel like we’re missing out as participants in American culture. Sure the Xtracycles can haul a lot, but just try using one after a Costco run for a 50″ Plasma TV, car battery, and family-sized box of ultra slim. It’s just not going to happen. And when was the last time we had time to go spinning class? Riding everywhere takes so long and so much energy that we don’t have a spare time for the gym or audio books or Oprah or anything like that.
We want a car. A big one.We’re tired of being cold, tired of being “that weird family that bikes everywhere” and tired of doing our part for the planet while our neighbors blindly zoom up and down the street in their 3-ton suburban. It’s just not fair. We want our little bit of luxury. We want to live a little and give our kids some of the advantages of our car culture.
So what do we give up by trading our bikes for a SUV? Well, we’ll probably spend a little more. That’s a fact. There’s insurance and gas and car payments and car coats and vanity license plates. On the other hand, America’s greatest living president is throwing a tax rebate our way that ought to subsidize our fuel bills back to 1999 prices. And our load on the planet may increase a little bit. But having a car means we’ll be able to stock up on affordable green products at Target and Wal-mart and other big-box retailers that are hard to ride to.
And the weight loss thing? Frankly, Americans are so fat these days that no one has even noticed our trim new look.
Really, these are minor issues compared to the freedom of the road we’ll gain with a nice set of wheels. Instead of hopping on a cold snap deck, we can wrestle our kids into car seats where they can safely sip their juice boxes, cradled in a cocoon of 15 airbags. Then, as a whole family, we can enjoy Shrek on DVD while we idle in the Starbucks drive-thru lane. What’s more American than that?
Sorry gentle readers but April 1 will go down in history as the day Anne and Tim bought a Escalade!